I consider myself to be one of the luckiest women in the world, having found my other half. He is not perfect, but he is perfect for me. He used to have a massive drug habit, but he has been recovered for over a decade now. Despite how long he’s been sober, he still has struggles, and there are times where they have nearly gotten the better of him. Yet still he fights and beats those urges on a daily basis, putting his sobriety before most everything else in his life.
It’s Heartbreaking Watching Him Fight
Less than a year ago, my beloved lost the woman who raised him. She meant the most to him in terms of knowing who he was then and still is. It was quick and unexpected. There was not much time to prepare for the inevitable, and before we could blink, she was gone. He was lost.
It didn’t matter that we had been together for a decade, or that he had our children to keep him grounded. He was totally lost. He was angry and said he was too weak to handle that circumstance. He said he wanted to disappear. He went back to old feelings, and knew that he could disappear if he returned to old habits. No matter what I said, he knew he had to fight that fight alone. He was quite literally in a fight for his life.
It’s Inspiring to Watch Him Win
I offered daily reminders that I was here, whenever he was ready to take my hand. He didn’t have to go through it all alone, but I understood him needing to control the fate of his own life at that point. I wasn’t sure he would make it through, but one day he came up to me, held my hand, and simply said, “thank you.” He knew he wasn’t going through it alone, even if I wasn’t at his side. He knew he could turn to me, even if he didn’t make it to the end of that journey sober.
I wish he didn’t have to struggle, but I am proud of the strides he makes each and every single day. He talks to our children about addiction, and he tells them about his own struggles. He’s honest with them, even if he does have to simplify the phrases he uses during those talks.
He doesn’t want addiction to be a topic they are unsure of or feel is off-limits. He knows that the more open he is about his struggles, the stronger they will be when faced with their own choices in the future. He may see himself as weak at times, but to me, he’s a strong and dedicated father who is an inspiration to me each and every day.
BreeAnn Russ is a mother to seven children, a wife, an entrepreneur and business-owner, writer, and a survivor. After going through some very rough moments in life, she shares her experiences with others so they may learn the lessons in an easier fashion than she had to. If sharing even one event in her life spares someone else, she wholly believes it is worth her time and effort.